THE CALEDONIAN BAR, 35 JAMES SQUARE
James Square in Crieff was once the fine centre of the town, a
meeting and gathering place where folk could sit amidst nice
flowers near the water fountain and catch their breath after
scaling King Street with ropes. Today, it remains a fine centre.
For still there are seats, still there are flowers, and all in
all it is fairly pretty to look at and sit in. However, the
Murray Fountain no longer skooshes, and the Drummond Arms Hotel,
a grand structure that dominates the square, was closed and
abandoned when I was there (2012). For me, these two things -
the fountain and the hotel - take the edge off what could be a
much better public space. But anyway, we are not here to moan.
The Caledonian Bar is an okayish pub. Inside it is modern and
feels bleak in a no-one's-home kind of way. I think the word I
am striving for is soulless, for there is precious little inside
to keep a man's interest while engaged in that difficult task of
ale-supping. They do have real ale, and on the day of my visit
it was 'Ossian Ale', a fine brew made not too far away in Perth.
THE TOWER, 81 EAST HIGH STREET
The Tower is described as a Gastro Pub. It is housed in an
imposing big white building, with a tower, that was probably a
hotel once upon a time. When I first wandered in I was not in
the finest of fettle. I had walked from Auchterarder, scaled
King Street in Crieff with ropes, stuck my head in sundry pubs
and coffee houses to ask complicated questions, and had a hot
forehead. The thing is, you never truly know what a place is
going to be like until you venture inside. I bought a half-pint
of the Inveralmond Brewery's 'Thrappledouser' - brewed in nearby
Perth - and took my ruined body to an outside garden to closely
examine my ale, make notes, and mutter under my breath. I
removed my rucksack, slotted myself into a stout wooden bench
with views over all of Strathearn, took a tentative sip, and
sighed the sigh of a man who had come home. The ale was in fine
condition. There are some beer gardens that can at best be
described as dire. The rear garden of The Tower is not one of
those. It feels a bit like someone's garden. It's like you're
sitting at the rear of a house with a wee woman. There is grass
underfoot, trees where little birds flutter and fuss over food,
and great views for miles and miles. It is so peaceful. So
peaceful that I dragged myself back to the bar counter and
bought a pint. Sitting in that garden with good local ale at
hand was for me one of life's special moments. The Tower is
without question the best pub in Crieff, and one reason why I
would have no doubt about returning to that fine place.