ST MARY'S PARISH CHURCH, SIDEGATE
Sited beside the River Tyne, this picturesque ancient edifice is nice to look at, photograph or paint. In winter that's all you can do because the inside is shut. It's hard to know what to do for the best sometimes. Winter tourism is like a chicken and egg situation; are there few tourists in winter because a lot of attractions are shut, or are a lot of attractions shut in winter because there are few tourists? That is the question. Maybe we could try opening everything for a few years and see how it goes. I suppose there would still be a few apathetic hotels that closed their restaurant at precisely 2.30 in the afternoon and even if you were a whole bus-load of folk willing to pay £10 a head there'd still be no chance because the 'cook' has retired to the bar for a large refreshment, the waitress has left to meet her boyfriend, and the bar manager is out back having a fag! One presumes that in winter God flies off to warmer climes for a break, and there are times when I can't say I blame him.

A LITTLE WALK - RIVER TYNE WALKWAY
There is a path that runs beside the River Tyne. You can pick it up right by The Waterloo Bistro. Now - and pay close attention here - I don't know where it goes. Exciting, huh? One presumes that it follows the river for a bit. Try it and see. If you're not sure, my advice would be to venture along it so far, perhaps a little way into the woods, then throw your arms in the air and holler, 'THERE'S A TROLL IN THE FOREST - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!' Then retire to either The Waterside or The Victoria Inn, depending on which one you can find open.

SO, WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO IN HADDINGTON? WELL, IF YOU FOLLOW THE STREET SIGNS FOR 'JANE WELSH CARLISLE HOUSE MUSEUM' YOU WILL ALSO FIND THIS SHUT. FOR GOOD. IT BECAME A PRIVATE HOUSE A FEW YEARS AGO BUT NO ONE BOTHERED TO TAKE DOWN THE STREET SIGNS. THE APATHY OF HADDINGTON COUNCIL OR THE LOCAL TOURIST BOARD IS, TO SAY THE LEAST, ALARMING. SO, JUST GO HUNT A TROLL OR SOMETHING.